Raising Up Larraine.

Being a long distance parent is not easy.  Normally, I would say, 'yes', to whatever Larraine wanted.  I guess the distance and me not being there physically reigned on my decision.  Later on, I would learn from Rhoda, that she had told Larraine, no.  However, since our daughter is techno savvy with the computer and cellphone.  Larraine would get a hold of me on chat or text me via her mommy's phone to get my approval.  Without knowing the background of the situation, I would, of course, say yes, to my little girl.  So this went on for awhile.  When Rhoda said, no.  Larraine would get a hold of me knowing I would say, yes.

One day, Rhoda discussed with me the situation about Larraine getting a hold of me.  It was primarily my fault for not talking with Rhoda regarding why Larraine wanted certain things.  So we discussed Larraine's needs.  And since, Rhoda was there to actual see the situation first hand, I would defer to her judgment.  I have learned to stop saying yes to Larraine.  Now, I would tell her that her mommy and I would discuss it and let her know 'our' decision. 

Today, I called Rhoda to see how things were going over there.  Rhoda told me that Larraine wanted to join a dance contest.  The entrance fee was $40.  I said, "That's too much for an entrance fee, especially for young children".  Rhoda had talked to Larraine earlier and gave her a choice, the dance or a remote car (yeah, my girl is a tomboy) that she wanted.  Larraine wanted both.  So Rhoda and I had discussed it.  I told her that whatever she decides, I'll support.

Later, Rhoda gave Larraine the cellphone to talk with me.  After we had talked a little while.  Larraine asked me if she can join the dance.  I told her that her mommy and I will discuss it and let her know.  After Rhoda got back on the phone with me.  She informed me that our daughter was still upset.  She was hoping for me to say, yes. 

Apparently, Larraine had been practicing for this dance contest for awhile.  I'm not even sure what type of dancing style will be judged.  But, she's looking to competing and trying to win.  I'm glad that she's trying new things in school, especially for her young age.  I never thought about dancing contests when I was in 2nd grade. 

Anyway, Rhoda and I discussed it some more.  I didn't like the idea of forking over $40 for a dance contest for children.  Rhoda's plan is to have Papang (her dad/my father-in-law) bargain with the teacher to lower the fee for Larraine due to unforeseen circumstances with the family last month.  If it's $10, then Larraine may dance.  If not, then she'll have to learn that she can't have everything she wants. 

I used to laugh when Rhoda would tell me that I'm in Larraine's hands.  At first it was a compliment.  Of course, I would do anything for my children to keep them happy.  But, when it starts interfering with Rhoda's decision in raising our children, especially when I'm not there.  It puts a bind on things.  Most importantly, when it comes to discipline. 

I'm still learning.