Home Invasion: Stopped the Threat.

They came into my home, while I was in the shower.  I tried to be quiet as possible so they don't notice me.  Unfortunately, they heard the water splashing and spotted me in all my glory.  Soon their numbers grew from a couple to many in seconds.  They hesitated to attack me.  But as soon as did, they started to claw at my lower extremities. 

I decided to take action.  At first, I wanted to jump out of the shower to grab my weapons to stop the threat.  But the thought of me running out of the bathroom in my splendorous birthday suit would surprise the manamkos (the elder folks) in the house.  My beauty of my tan toned glory might blind them.  

So to keep them safe...I stayed and fought.  I fought back furiously.  My airborne paratrooper training came back, like the fury of St. Michael fighting the demons.  Using the only weapon I had in control at the moment.  The 120 degrees of hot water from the shower got those gangstas attacking me.  After I stopped their menacing clawing.  I turned my attention to the rest of them trying to invade the upper reaches of my house.  

I splashed left to get those trying to flank me.  And then I splashed right to get that other column trying to get around me.  Then I concentrated fire up and down as they blitzkrieg down the middle.  I adjusted for windage and made sure my sights were clear and soft targets identifiable.  Checking the background to insure there were no innocent bystanders on the glazed tile as I sprayed in controlled bursts of fire.  

We engaged in close quarter battle...hand to claw fighting.  They clawed at me and I countered with palm strikes.  Effectively killing many with one blow each time.  They tried to retreat...but only to regroup.  As they again moved towards me in a daring kamikaze attack.  I turned the water on high and splashed them all with hot steaming water.  They died instantly.  Many were stopped where they stood.  

Just like that they were all dead in the shower stall battle field.  I celebrated doing my version of the Happy Dance and Running Man.  WoooHooo!  I had stopped the home invasion...Splashing to stop the threat.  Castle Doctrine works.  

I was debating to call the police precinct.  But the last time I dealt with the police.  They wanted evidence first.  Unfortunately, all the bodies went down the drain as I rinsed the battle scarred walls of the shower stall.  

I warned the stragglers that were scurrying away out the window to tell their leaders.  The next time, I'll go NBC on them and deploy the Black Flag.  

DAMN ANTS!  


Esta.  Keep Smiling.